Saturday, May 23, 2009

Looking for an infidelity cure?


Well, forget about it. There is no such thing. There is literally no way anyone can prevent another person from cheating. It is rampant. Take a look around you, about 50% of married men cheat during their lifetime, and almost 40% of married women. So, that happily married couple you see walking hand in hand around the park, at the grocery store, odds are at least one of them has cheated on their partner.

The odds are against you. It is almost guaranteed that at some point, in your lifetime, you will be cheated on.

How can one reconcile this behavior, attack it head on, and decide for themselves, after having been betrayed, if in fact the relationship is worth saving? It takes strength of character, resolve, a no bullshit, no nonsense attitude, and if necessary doing the 180, to pull the betrayer’s head out of their ass.

Take into consideration the amount of time you have invested in the relationship, are there children, do you own a home together? Has the betrayer shown remorse? Is the betrayer willing to do the hard work that is necessary to reconcile, this means counseling, no contact with the affair partner, total and I mean total transparancy? Can the betrayed partner tell you the truth about what happened, and if necessary all of the questions asked, by you the betrayed?

If the wayward spouse is willing to meet the above conditions, the relationship might have a shot.

By the way, if you have been betrayed, it’s not because you weren’t pretty enough, handsome enough, thin enough, funny enough, you didn’t clean enough, the sex wasn’t good, or enough. Whatever. This list could go on an on.

You the betrayed are more than enough. Anyone who is low enough to cheat and lie to a faithful spouse is not enough, they have low self esteem, no self respect, and no boundaries.

Stop investing so much in your marriage, your relationship, and instead, you who have been betrayed, take the time, and make the effort to invest in yourself. Go to the gym, join a club, go to the spa, get a pedicure, buy a new wardrobe, take a new class, get your degree, go to a movie with a friend, enjoy your children, walk, exercise, paint, do anything, something for yourself.

You deserve it.

Add comment 05/20/2009 leaper Edit

2 comments:

  1. Hi, found you through EHow. Interesting aticle. A little frightening. I realize the odds are against marriage, but if the stats are so high, why do people continue to get married?
    I'm going into year 7 (still a newbie) but I have high hopes.

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  2. Thanks for your comment. You might also want to check out my article on forgiveness on Ehow. I also recommend a book called "Not Just Friends" by the late Shirley Glass, which is the most comprehensive book on infidelity out there. It addresses the problem head on, and mostly looks at boundaries, and how they affect people. It would be a great pre-emptive strike for any young marriage. Again, thanks for commenting.

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